The road ahead of me is beautiful and exciting. The grass is newly planted, therefore fresh and green--ready to be watered and kept healthy. The sky is cloudless,not truly, but that's the way I see it. There is so much adventure in store and so many opportunities awaiting my arrival.
The road behind me is dreary and closed. The trees have been burnt down and where there was once grass there is dirt and mud. The sky is dark and grey along with the memories of that road. It's a place I would never go again, but have still learned much from.
The road I am on is full of nostalgia. The leaves on the trees are all full of color, but now falling off and the sun is always setting; longing for the day before and the day ahead at the same time. I am not gone yet, but leaving soon. I miss the days when I had all the time in the world with the people I love. I miss the simple days in school, when we could have fun without having to plan our future at the same time.
We are all in the same rickety boat and on the same bitter-sweet path; planning our futures, thinking both realistically and optimistically, getting ready to leave home, preparing to say goodbye, spending our last moments at home with our loved ones. The only difference is, I am five steps ahead. I have my future planned, I have done all my thinking, I am mostly packed to leave home, I have prepared to say goodbye, and I am spending my last moments home with my loved ones.
I don't know what else to call it except for "bitter-sweet".
Bitter- My beloved friends mean the world to me, I want to know their life and not miss the everyday details. I want to hold them when they cry. I want to laugh with them and yell with them when the world sucks. They are everything to me here at home, I will miss them beyond words. My biggest fear is they won't miss me as much when school starts back and their time is occupied.
Sweet- There is so much in store for me on this journey. God is already opening so many doors and building so many new and great relationships. The next 6 months-1 year is going to be the foundation for what God is going to do in the rest of my life.
To sum it up and explain why I needed to blog about this. . .Basically I am stoked to move, and I have been stoked to move--for months. I have been feeling all the sweet parts about this bitter-sweet move for the past five months. So as the time for me to say goodbye and leave my loved ones approaches, I am now beginning to feel the bitter parts. I'm leaving behind my friends and family who I can only hope keeps in touch with me by reaching out to them. I just pray God blesses all the long distance relationships that are in His will and plan for my life.
Your will be done God, forever & ever, amen.
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